It looks a bit like a gothic thermos flask and, when fully opened up to display its terrifying array of Intel Xeon processors, actually resembles the Death Star. We’re half waiting for it to quietly click open in the dead of night and start spewing humanity-enslaving tentacles.
I get whack for Techradar about Apple’s new super computer.
Look, it’s a special tablet for women! It’s pink and it has a simplified menu! Because you know WOMEN! And I wrote about it for techradar despite the terrifying complexity of my computer keyboard.
Hey, man. Have you sexy-health-checked your squeeze today? You could saving a life (this was a typo, but I like it so much that I’m leaving it in).
Join me as I flip back through my Mental Scrapbook of Deceased Friendships. It’s not creepy or weird at all! It’s got tea-stained decals on, look!
By me, for Bea Magazine. Features cat GIFs. I’m sorry.