83 posts tagged writing
It looks a bit like a gothic thermos flask and, when fully opened up to display its terrifying array of Intel Xeon processors, actually resembles the Death Star. We’re half waiting for it to quietly click open in the dead of night and start spewing humanity-enslaving tentacles.
What would the film Memento have been like if Guy Pearce had had iOS 7, I wonder, for Techradar.
(Answer: short)
Unless I take care of them, my feet are part-barnacle and part-monkey paw, and can never be uncovered or laid in a pedicurist’s lap.
In which I floridly complain about the “upsetting architectural features” of my feet, and tell xoJanedotcom how to turn one’s knobbly hooves into dozing puppies using Vaseline, plastic bags and bad language.
In which I am interviewed by the brilliant Pamflet zine about my literary habits, but mostly end up going on about nose injuries and monkeys called Gary.
It was hard to know how to react when Iain Banks revealed his very sad news. I decided that making a top 10 list of cool things from his science fiction novels was appropriate. I got a bit excited and added the word YOLO, too. I’m sorry, Iain Banks. I love you.
THEM: “Hey Robyn, do you remember Button Moon?”
ME: “Why yes I do. Thank you for reminding me. Now please go about your day.”
Stuart Heritage and I take on nostalgia on LUV & HAT.
Look, it’s a special tablet for women! It’s pink and it has a simplified menu! Because you know WOMEN! And I wrote about it for techradar despite the terrifying complexity of my computer keyboard.
Hey, man. Have you sexy-health-checked your squeeze today? You could saving a life (this was a typo, but I like it so much that I’m leaving it in).
Join me as I flip back through my Mental Scrapbook of Deceased Friendships. It’s not creepy or weird at all! It’s got tea-stained decals on, look!
I hold down a full-time middle-management editorial job, a freelance writing career I mainly conduct during loo breaks and, for the last few months, I’ve been looking after my seriously ill mother. Something had to give.
Last week I quit my job because I couldn’t find my sports bra - by me, for xoJane.
Yep. By me, for xoJane UK.
“It’s turned me into the sort of person who takes her phone into the toilet. By now my phone must be encrusted with poo spores, but dysentery can be treated. I’ve been stuck on fucking level 35 of Candy Crush for over a week now, and I cannot. Let it. Beat me.”
By me, for Bea Magazine. Features cat GIFs. I’m sorry.
“The Life of Pi - While people watched the film version and wondered “does this prove the existence of God?”, I just kept thinking “BUT WHERE DOES THE TIGER POO?”
Eight ways to style out a cold this Christmas - by me, for xoJane. I’m SORRY.
