May 2013
10 posts
@orbyn If we’re ever looking to take the Comfy Butts thing further, you’ll be the first on our list. See > twitter.com/schuh/status/3…
— schuh (@schuh) May 21, 2013
No context necessary.
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Do not listen to this Jesca Hoop song on, around,...
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WOLF DREAMS FLEECE: a beautiful piece to grace any...
One of my favourite parts of the Fortean Times is the page of goth accessories in every issue, in which scowling tattoo aficionados strike self-conscious poses to hawk treasures like this ‘wolf dreams fleece’, which I now sort of want.
I’m also impressed by how this male model is at once malevolent, Nickelbacky, and slightly apologetic:
(And kinda French. Or is that just...
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'Pulls heavy eyes open on thin strands'
The classically beautiful Sarah Ditum kindly reads, tweets and Storifies part of Iain Duncan’s Smith’s terrifyingly featureless novel, so we don’t have to.
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Today in spam
Aloha, cool cowboy! How are you getting on?
Greetings, well-hung sweetheart! How life treats you?
Will you make a fantastic friend for any playful girl like me!
I am looking forward to hearing for you!
Hello long man, are you very busy current days?
Sleep with 6 girls in the next 6 days guaranteed!
Hello, mighty man! I feel so lonelythesedays!
I WAIT FOR YOU!!!!!!
Women want this...
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Fashions that make me sad: peep-toe boots
Ooh, what a warm day. I know, I’ll slip my unsocked feet into this leather heat-trap and schlep around town all day, squelching around in my own rancid foot-sweat gaining bunions and callouses, but it’ll all be worth it because the world can see, if they look really hard, A PORTION OF MY BIG TOE.
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xoJane.com: Make your gnarly feet look soft and...
Unless I take care of them, my feet are part-barnacle and part-monkey paw, and can never be uncovered or laid in a pedicurist’s lap.
In which I floridly complain about the “upsetting architectural features” of my feet, and tell xoJanedotcom how to turn one’s knobbly hooves into dozing puppies using Vaseline, plastic bags and bad language.
April 2013
7 posts
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techradar: top 10 gadgets from the Culture novels
It was hard to know how to react when Iain Banks revealed his very sad news. I decided that making a top 10 list of cool things from his science fiction novels was appropriate. I got a bit excited and added the word YOLO, too. I’m sorry, Iain Banks. I love you.
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LUV & HAT: nostalgia
THEM: “Hey Robyn, do you remember Button Moon?” ME: “Why yes I do. Thank you for reminding me. Now please go about your day.”
Stuart Heritage and I take on nostalgia on LUV & HAT.
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Techradar: the ePad Femme: a tablet for Stepford...
Look, it’s a special tablet for women! It’s pink and it has a simplified menu! Because you know WOMEN! And I wrote about it for techradar despite the terrifying complexity of my computer keyboard.
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xoJane: it's 'sexy' health check week!
Hey, man. Have you sexy-health-checked your squeeze today? You could saving a life (this was a typo, but I like it so much that I’m leaving it in).
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xoJane: Friendship counselling: would you?
Join me as I flip back through my Mental Scrapbook of Deceased Friendships. It’s not creepy or weird at all! It’s got tea-stained decals on, look!
March 2013
1 post
February 2013
5 posts
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“It’s turned me into the sort of person who takes her phone into the toilet. By...”
– Today on LUV&HAT: Candy Crush
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The internet = cats →
By me, for Bea Magazine. Features cat GIFs. I’m sorry.
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“The Life of Pi - While people watched the film version and wondered “does this...”
– Is being busy making me stupiderer? By me, for xoJane.
January 2013
6 posts
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“I think we ought to portmanteau EVERYTHING that we do by text. Imagine it. We...”
– On sexting, a not-quite-LUV&HAT that Stuart Heritage and I did for xoJane.
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Orbyn’s classic mash: features 1981 - 1989...
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“Spending every Saturday morning in a souring bed, watching a shark-eyed man in a...”
– LUV & HAT is back! This week, we tackle Saturday Kitchen.
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“I spend my days completing a five-hour rail London-Shire-London round trip, and...”
– The unexpected derailing of my post-diet good intentions, documented for xoJane in ROBYN WILDER AND THE TEMPLE OF THE BODY: PART 1.
December 2012
7 posts
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November 2012
12 posts
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It happened to me: I was housebound with panic...
In any enclosed space outside my home – the train to my boyfriend’s house; the bus to my bar job - the world would pulse and warp, and a tremendous dam of nausea would build up inside me until I’d either faint, or be trapped inside a terrible vertiginous inertia.
I write about the four years I spent as a housebound agoraphobic with severe panic disorder in my early twenties - and subsequent...
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The extreme dietry of Robyn Wilder: week 11
My VLCD has come to an end, so this is my final xoJane EXTREME DIETRY entry. I’ve basically lost the equivalent of two Maine Coons, but I’ve found my courage. Or something.
Look, it’s about a diet.
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Panic in the streets of Robyn
Panic in the streets of Robyn. Panic in the streets of Robynham…
THE EXTREME DIETRY OF ROBYN WILDER: WEEK 9 By me, for xoJane
October 2012
17 posts
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MISTY, THE 1970S HORROR COMIC FOR GIRLS
HALLOWEEN SPECIAL: MISTY, THE 1970S HORROR COMIC FOR GIRLS Spooky but groovy, like H.P. Lovecraft in flares and a training bra.
By me, for xoJane.
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Orbyn's AWESOME Halloween 2012 playlist
